Adjusting and Expectations

So, what about adjusting for the long-term?

Here are my expectations for the next few years:

- We're going to be absolutely lost for the first year. Terrible language skills, dumb tourist personified since we'll be physically lost in the city for a good long while, adjusting to being in the minority, Rob and his 6'-4" frame will get the gape-jawed stare all the time, I'm sure. Add onto that a major change in diet, shopping habits, transportation means... A total lifestyle switch mashed up with the joy of feeling like we're discovering and learning daily.

- The next few years will be filled with feeling inadequate in our language skills. I'm sure we'll find friends, make weekly traditions, and find all the best cafes and hole-in-the-wall restaurants, as well as our ideal neighborhood (whatever that night be- there's old town, downtown, industrial park, and a little of everything in-between, so we'll have lots of exploring and walking around to do). But, I know I'm going to struggle with feeling super behind in my reading skills and slim vocabulary.

- Hopefully there will be babies in our lives by the next few years and I find my niche in town with other mommies. I think a big part of my adjustment will take place whenever this transition happens.

- By years 3, 4, 5, and 6, I hope we'll have earned raises and promotions, have kiddos in tow, and feel like we're getting the swing of living in not-America. China is absolutely a different culture, one that I kiiind of know what to expect, but not the nuance. But, Suzhou is rumored to be a slower paced city filled with lots of conveniences (like several major shopping districts), large and modern hospitals, bullet trains, burgeoning subway lines and killer bus service. And, Shanghai is 37 minutes away on the fast train, for my sister's recommendation for hospitals for maternity, two major airports, Apple Stores, Zara... you know, the important stuff.

- Diminished dairy consumption. Cheese will be hard to get and expensive, which kind of breaks my heart. I really love cheese. Although, I suppose that also means I don't have to worry about the heartbreak of cutting cheese out of my diet if we have a baby who is lactose intolerant.

- Past that, I kind of don't know what to expect. I don't know if I'll feel perpetually lost for decades, years, mere months. I don't know if my language skills will exceed my own expectations after being immersed, or if I'll struggle to retain new vocabulary. I don't know if we'll be a novelty to look at years after we arrive or if we'll become a local fixture and never get a double take. It's going to fun to watch it all unfold, though!

5 Days Left in Houston

Back to the grind- Rob and I were given the extraordinary gift of a cruise vacation by my parents and we spent all of last week floating down to Honduras, Belize, and the Yucatan peninsula. We're feeling very relaxed, connected, and have a lot better idea of what all needs to be done. This week is going to be a whirlwind!

We've been packing, cleaning, and painting, but now we're down to our last few days to wrap up our apartment in Houston. I just said goodbye yesterday to our 12 boxes, cedar chest, and Rob's bike which got picked up to begin their slow journey to Shanghai as freight. We re-weighed and packed a few extra things in our three duffel bags, leaving one large suitcase for the rest of our clothes (including the stuff we'll be wearing for the next three weeks in Ohio). 

The other thing going on is getting our visa paperwork filed. Since we were on vacation last week and were using our passports, we couldn't submit the visa application any sooner than Monday of this week. And when we took it in, along with our letter of invitation to work from Soochow University and Foreign Worker's Permit (key components to allowing us to apply for a work visa versus a long-term tourist visa), we ran into two separate issues: oops- we didn't type our information into the .pdf document, we handwrote. Adios, go type it and print out new copies of the visa application. Once we came back with the proper application, the lady at the window said we needed three copies of the letter and permit, along with a copy of our passports. And the xerox machine in the consulate had a big "out of order" sign on it. 

I'm beyond grateful that the Chinese Embassy is not only in Houston, but literally 1 1/2 miles from my apartment. We don't have to send our materials off and pay a huge fee to an intermediary to process this stuff. BUT, they're only open to the public from 9:00-11:30 and 1:30-3:00. That's four hours. Anyway, big fail in getting this handled Monday, which wasn't ideal, because we really need to have everything go smoothly and be approved for pick up before we leave town on Sunday. Assuming our second try to submit on Tuesday morning goes well, we'll be able to get everything on Friday morning. Thank goodness.

My sister and her fiance have been an enormous help through all of this process and they passed along the following nuggets of wisdom:

- Visas have to get done and they don't stop being confusing, even if you've done the whole procedure for a few years. You're not alone on this one.

- This is aaaaall a part of the China Experience. 

- Per the "Laowai's Guide to China" made by Fulton for Rob: "When China seems like it's against you, it isn't- this happens to everyone. Go get cheap eats, get lost, whatever you wanted to do for the day, divide by two." Yesterday, we divided by about 5.

Goodbye, beautiful grey walls. 

Cleared out dining room, fresh white paint, and our 12 boxes to be shipped. Adding on a cedar chest and bike- can you believe anyone would have the kohones to quote us $5400 to ship that tiny amount?!

Poor Eddie, she's finding safe places to nap anywhere she can find them. 

Sorting, Packing, Shipment and Storage

Packing and preparing for this move has been time consuming, but pretty simple. Here was our thought process.

With a 6-year contract for the Assistant Professor position, we know we're planning to be out of the States for a while. Add on the fact that there are reviews and applications for Associate Professor, then Full Professor (along with application for Tenure... this really aren't opportunities for tenure-track positions in the States for people in our age bracket anymore), and we're in a position to be gone reeeally long-term if we find we love it over there. More on my thoughts about preparing for this possible reality later.

We've broken our household strategy into five segments:

- Pack and ship. Rob's academic materials, books, winter clothes and coats, Rob's elecronic music mixer and soundboard, a family heirloom cedar chest, cases filled with our dvd discs, little mementos, extra toothpaste, deodorant, vitamins, and contacts, fitted sheets (fitted sheets aren't a "thing" over there, so we've been advised to take some, rather than count on keeping a flat sheet tucked neatly around our mattress), baseball gloves, a few favorite games sans box, a few special pieces of art, and a Grumpy doll from Disney, which will be held and nice things said to the other person if we get cranky (a Burnham Family tradition for vacations- a reminder to be sweet to one another and punishment if you're a jerk). These 12 boxes, cedar chest (and Rob's enormous bicycle, if it will fit) will get sent via slow boat and show up a few weeks after we arrive.

- Pack and stash in an attic. Household stuff we couldn't bear to part with, like our nice set of dishes, pots and pans (good, heavy stuff), knives, special casserole dishes, our carefully curated collection of artwork, groovy floor lamps, silverware, a strange nightside table which originally came off of a yacht, so it's kind of a rhombus. It's only about 10 boxes or so, but I just can't say goodbye to everything we own. 

- Pack check-in bags. Most of our culled down clothing collection (nothing will be stored with family- it's either going, or it's getting Goodwilled), good walking shoes, toiletries, etc. This also factors in clothing that we've set aside for our cruise next week, icky hot-weather summer clothes, wedding/shower/festivities clothing for my sister's big day, and casual but cute visiting outfits. Setting aside just the right things and stashing the rest into enormous duffel bags has been a little tricky. 

- Carry-on items. Computers, heavy items, books, entertainment for 15 hours on an airplane. This is carefully planned to include toiletries and makeup to be suitable for wedding season. Oh, yeah, and my last two weeks of work.

- Adios, extra stuff! Unloved clothing, almost all of our furniture (bookshelves, dining table and chairs, dresser, bed, sofa, side tables), household nicknacks, spare dishes, spatulas, dvd player, coffee pot, toaster, glasses, extra boardgames, mixing bowls, and all the other stuff we just don't need to keep. 

And it feels great! We started really early and sorted, purged, and sold everything we could ahead of time. We've made arrangements to sell the last few big pieces on the 27th of the month (and we're planning to leave on the 30th), have already started repainting our apartment white, so we'll have relatively little to do the week before we leave with our last few possessions in a Uhaul trailer. We won't talk about the dog/cat fight that will probably happen during the drive back to Ohio in the Jeep, but I think we've got some ducks in a row as far as physical possessions go. And we're a whole heckuva lot more condensed. It's kind of nice to know we now own very little and what we own we have because it's used often and we love it. 

P.S.- Ship Smart is our likely winner for our puny 12 boxes. $1000 for a Will Call Shipment (we'll find a mover from the Shanghai port to Suzhou 2 hours inland), vs. $3200 quotes, and one quote for $5400! ?!?!?! Were they planning to wrap my box of vitamins in gold leaf?!?

A Long, Slow Transition

Hey, friends! It finally felt like the right time to dive into a new blog to document and share our preparations and eventual move to Suzhou, China.

As a few of you may have gathered, I'm not reeeeally allowed to call myself the "Perpetual Student's Wife" anymore, since my husband kicked serious butt and earned himself a job as an Assistant Professor of Music Composition in Suzhou, China's new School of Music at Soochow University. Just finished with his own Doctorate in Music, he's going to develop and build from nothing at all a composition studio at the collegiate level. I'm so proud!

We have less than a month longer in Houston and have been absolutely soaking in as many friend days as we can. While this city has been incredibly good to us, filled our bellies with a thousand delicious things and provided a pretty fascinating dose of year-round city-bound nature, we really loved being here because we made friendships that are sure to be life-long. It's a funny thing- Rice University, where Rob completed his doctorate, is a respected and strenuous academic institution filled with smarties in all fields. And the musicians we had the pleasure of getting to know are capable of playing at a professional level in their first year of a master's degree (they really are that darn good). But, they're nice as crap for as insanely talented as they are. A fair chunk of these students really want to go out of their way to play brand new contemporary music (plus scheduling rehearsals, plus showing up for performances) for the fun of trying something new and maybe a giftcard to the coffee house on campus. We'll miss that incredible sense of partnership and community, for sure.

Aaaanyway, we're up to our eyeballs in packing and preparations, here's a little glimpse of what it takes to get ready for an international move.

• Purge. Purge purge purge. We have decided to part ways with nearly 70% of our belongings. Long-ago clothing got sorted and donated, kitchen items got slashed in half, and crap you hang onto for no good reason gets triple checked and chucked.
• *BigFatSigh* We sold our Honda Fit. Which I miss terribly (but we are down to one car which will haul a trailer and have only one car insurance payment). 
• List furniture online, host two garage sales, and donate the rest.
• Stock up on deodorant, toothpaste (green tea toothpaste is a convention I'm not quiiite willing to bend to), good walking shoes, and jeans.
• Prepack and carefully weigh our four duffel bags and pre-plan carry-ons to include heavy crap. 
• Go to Doctors appointments, get check ups and beg them sweetly to fill out our Chinese-character-heavy health form for visa and work permit paperwork. 
• Triple check and send scanned forms months ahead of time to our contacts at the university to get the ball rolling for visa paperwork.
• Get 20+ passport photos of each of us (and I'm not sure it will be enough) for, you guessed it, submission of paperwork upon arrival.
• Book two one-way plane tickets.
• Merge Delta Sky Miles accounts.
• Ebay purchase two SIM-card compatible and unlocked phones- all we need is to buy plans once we arrive.
• Receive exhorbitantly high quotes for both household goods and animal relocation.
• Oh, yeah, and keep working 45+ hours a week.
• Still need an international shipper in place who doesn't want to charge 5K to ship 12 medium boxes and a bicycle.
• Still need to find a family friend who wants to "own" a beagle for three months while we save up to bring our critters over. 
• Still need our letter of invitation from the University in hand to submit visa paperwork.
• Still need to cancel insurance, give notice to our current phone company, repaint apartment walls and deep clean behind the stove, pick up and load the trailer of stuff to be taken back to Ohio, and do a 30 hour trip with BOTH animals in the car. 

Needless to say, between my day job (only one more week, thaaank goodness!) and Rob's writing, teaching, and music input side jobs, it's been a pretty nonstop couple of months. And as much as I am really looking forward to the rest of June and getting good family time in with everyone in Ohio in July (plus, my sissy is getting married!!), I'll be thrilled to settle into a quiet routine in Suzhou. We'll have about a month between our arrival and classes starting, so Rob will dive in and be busy, I'm sure, but I'll spend the time hunting for coffee shops, trying my hand at strange vegetable purchasing in local markets, getting utilities, phones, and arrangements for an Ayi made (household help). 

So, that's where it all stands. I hope you'll keep checking in with us as we continue to put pieces together and work out the kinks during our big, crazy move and transition! Don't forget to leave a comment with any of your tips for international moves.